Why We Are Foster Parents.

I am absolutely delighted with the amount of support and well-wishes we've received since announcing to the world our intentions to adopt from foster care. Don't get me wrong, I knew we'd get a ton of support. I just thought since this isn't something that a young couple normally does (for their first child), that we'd get a lot of strange looks.

Overwhelmingly, the question we answer most is, "How did you decide to do this?" or "What brought you to this decision?" Our response varies, depending on the person asking, but here's our reason - -

As a teenager and young adult I had no interest in becoming a parent, let alone be pregnant. The idea of parenting was too restricting of my lifestyle, too limiting to my future, and too intimidating. I mean, parenting is for life, right? But then I met John, graduated college, found a job, married John, bought a house, and did all those things that constitute the American Dream. Becoming a parent wasn't "the next step" for me - I think that's what's wrong with people and parenting today - so many people think the next thing to do is to have kids. Instead, I was given an opportunity (from my parents, family and John) to achieve every single thing I set my mind to. I had a chance to grow into myself and the exact person I wanted to be. As a result, I grew into wanting to be a parent. I have been pretty lucky to have a "whole" life - my cup has never been empty. (Thanks mom, dad, Steph and Ryan!) Instead, I've been allowed to keep growing with John, and parenthood became something that approached me, versus me approaching it.

But why fostering? Why adoption?

Why not? Teaching as opened my eyes to the realities of parenthood. Especially shitty parents. Wowza! Additionally, living in a large city for nearly 10 years has exposed me to families who are down on their luck, families who are pushed to the brink, young people who are forced to grow up too fast, young people who make mistakes, and others who attempt to pick up the pieces and fail. Since John and I started talking about starting a family about a year and a half ago, we've always considered foster care and adoption, as well as having biological children. It just so happened that this came first. We could have easily used a private adoption service (which we did look into at one time), but adopting from foster care is something that is conducive to our values and beliefs.

We are ready and capable people who are excited to welcome a child into our home temporarily (if they return to their birth parents) or permanently (if they are able to be adopted).

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kelli, I followed your link from the HomeAcre hop and ended up on this post. I can relate to what you're saying. I have also been lucky to have the opportunity to go to university and get a job and travel and do what I wanted to do, and now that my husband and I are settled on our own small farm, we thought that having children was the "next step", but when we talked about it, neither of us were actually that keen at the moment. I think a lot of people just jump in without thinking about whether they're ready and hence the terrible parents that you've seen. I'd rather help out needy kids than just create more for the sake of it :) I just haven't figured out the best way for us to do that yet, but good on you for having a go at the fostering (I read your more recent post that you've stopped, but it was a good idea to try it). Anyway, I'm sure you will find what's right for you, even if its having your own kids, at least you've thought about it! I enjoyed reading and finding a like-minded person. Cheers, Liz

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for your thoughts, Liz. I really needed to hear this right now. You can imagine how much of an emotional roller coaster this has been. Read on, girlfriend.

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